It happened suddenly, between classes, dodging drops of rain and clouds of cigarette smoke.
I came to a halt, stupefied: I didn’t understand what I was doing. None of this made any sense. I could not understand the need for loans, meal plans, overpriced textbooks, grades, or degrees. None of it meant anything but money, as everything in this world. I started to chuckle to myself.
What struck me immediately was that up until this moment I had never questioned the higher education system. In my mind people who did not attend college were doomed for a life of food service. I, like everyone else, had accepted the predetermined path for the high school graduate without the slightest bit of introspection.
My snickering ceased and turned into fear. I began to shake my arms at the passers by, hoping to catch their eyes. “Wait a minute!” I pleaded, “How much is school costing you? It’s just another business! It's McDonald’s; they're selling you deep-fried dreams! Can’t you see? Do you even know why you’re doing this?”
People stopped in my path, eyeing me from a distance. I paced in front of them, frantically attempting to make myself clear, trembling from the weight of my flash of truth. My words fell apart as soon as they left my mouth. The reality illuminated for me became blurred and rearranged somewhere between my mind and my vocal chords.
“What are you talking about?” the crowd responded. “McDonalds? I am here to get a degree. To get ahead in the job market, pay off my loans, afford a car and home, to contribute to the progress of society. It makes perfect sense. Are you high?”
I dropped my arms in defeat. We were in too deep. The web had been woven so thick that no one could see. Two years of loans plummeted into my brain, and I had to bow my head under their weight. I was in too deep to keep hold of this insight.
“You’re right,” I submitted. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry. I’m going to be late for class.” I slunk away into the nearest building.
I had to face the facts. I had already committed two years of my life to “higher” education. I had taken out loans, too many loans to drop everything now. How I wished my revelation had come years before. If I had understood I never would have walked down this path.
For now I had to push it from my mind and sign a few more promissory notes.
